A Word in Private
by Kenobigirl66
Summary: Obi-Wan tries to break it off with Padme, but things don't go as planned. Kind of sad, you've been warned.


A WORD IN PRIVATE

By kenobigirl66

*Inspired by Star Wars The Clone Wars: Wild Space*

Written from a prompt at the OFF: "A Word in Private"

Allowing his eyes to absorb the destruction and carnage, a bloody and unnecessary buffet, Obi-Wan Kenobi began the arduous task of taming the sudden panic that rose to his throat, mimicking the bile that had just preceded it. He slowly, carefully attempted to unfold his body from the ground, which had cradled him unconscious for how long, he couldn't exact. Not too long though. Nothing, he couldn't move, however he could lift his head.

The oozing red gash in his thigh and the twisting pain in his spine were still fresh and as he blinked grime from his eyes, the ashes and debris of destruction slowly made its gracious descent to the chaotic ground and lit gently on the mass of innocent lives lost. Bodies blanketed in a tainted, sorrowful snow.

He winced from the pain of physical traumas not yet realized and emotional scars that had yet to leave their mark. He turned his head and squeezed his eyes shut, seeking mercy from the stabbing pain behind them. Ashes gently kissed his face as the pain sent him in and out of reality. Reaching out to the encroaching peace, he remembered...

Obi-Wan watched her from a comfortable distance. A distance he would have to get used to it seemed, no matter how much it pained him.

_ How am I going to tell her? I can't do it here, too many assessing eyes. We've kept our secret too long to have it all unraveled, here in the Senate, within a matter of moments._

Force, he was going to miss her. He watched Padme speak in a most animated fashion to Bail Organa, her long-time friend. Her normally delicate features had contorted and betrayed the severity of the words that were escaping her inviting lips. She shook her head in a disapproving manner, her thick locks swept the soft material on her back in an effort to match the movements of her head. In the Force, her being was set ablaze, a gold pulsing hue, vibrant and vivacious. There was no way around it, he loved this woman and the reaffirmation of what he was about to do only served to further weaken his resolve.

He took a deep breath, but found no help in the Force, it was suddenly foggy, uninterpretable. Odd.

Once it appeared that the two Senator's heated debate was nearing its end, he could wait no longer. It had to be now, lest he lose what little nerve he'd mustered and give in to his flesh, her flesh. He nervously...wait, Jedi weren't supposed to be nervous. Obi-Wan Kenobi, reassuming the role of the calculated Jedi Knight, ran an unsteady hand through his hair and lifted his chin, trying to appear calm and collected, when inside, his emotions where screaming.

_ No, you fool, what are you doing? You're going to regret this!_ He argued with himself as he took his first step toward Padme.

_ How could I possibly regret keeping the mandates of the Jedi Code? Restrictions that have been in place for thousands of years? Who am I to presume that my own limited wisdom is superior to that which reflects the collective intelligence of countless Jedi Masters, all of who's wisdom, no doubt, grossly exceeds that of my own?_

Inwardly, he chastised himself for thoughts and musings he saw as nothing more than pride, but eventually began to wonder if any validity did indeed lie within the web he and Padme had so carelessly wove.

_ Stop this. No more_. This ends today.

Padme's eyes swiftly fell upon the man that, for all intents and purposes, was hers. He was all things pleasant and desirable to her; lover, confidant, guardian, friend. Her heart ached to know that the prefix "secret" would forever be attached to these. If she had to choose between exposing their love to the Jedi, thereby losing him forever, or remaining in a state of constant secrecy and coping with the hardship, then the burden of guarding their love would win every time. By now, she'd reconciled herself to being in a constant state of worry for him. Every mission, every assignment, every day he spent away from her was like a tribulation. Each time, her rampant emotions sought to destroy her. But, she would endure it...for him.

She resumed her conversation as if she hadn't noticed Obi-Wan approaching.

"How could they blame the loss of the Falleen Battle Group on the Jedi? It's - it's unthinkable and selfish. The Jedi have sacrificed themselves on the front lines, while they sit cozy and warm in the safety of their lavish homes. Safety, I might add, which has been made possible by the very same Jedi they show the utmost contempt for!" Padme threw her hands in the air miming surrender.

"Surely you're not surprised by the abundance of ignorance that is revealed in the Senate daily Padme." Bail Organa offered, attempting to calm the normally collected young woman.

However, he'd noticed lately that when the Jedi where critiqued in a negative light, she became surprisingly defensive. It was probably nothing though, just years of overly sensitive observations that could easily be chalked up to unfounded suspicions. At least, that's what his wife Breha would've told him. Were his job and this wretched war finally getting to him?

"Senator Organa, Senator Amidala." Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi bowed, cordial as always. "It is a pleasure to see you again." The Knight smiled at him, nothing but warm sincerity shone in the gesture.

"Master Kenobi, likewise." Bail responded.

"I apologize for interrupting, but Senator," He now faced Padme. "May we share a word in private?"

"Of course, if you'll excuse me Senator Organa." Padme's cheeks had flushed at the words and mere presence of this Jedi. Kenobi's eyes shone bright when he'd regarded Bail's fellow Senator. There was something in their body language that screamed familiarity and hesitation all at once.

_ I've known this woman. _That's what the air about Kenobi whispered.

_ I am his_. That's what Bail sensed dripping from Padme's being.

But, perhaps he was mistaken. This wouldn't be the first time he'd been called paranoid.

_ Padme's smarter than that, and Kenobi is definitely too shrewd for such an affair._ Satisfied with the conclusion he thought to be obvious, Bail directed his thoughts elsewhere. To meetings and various appointments, and proposed bills. Proper thoughts for a Senator.

Proper thoughts which didn't last long. He turned to leave, but was compelled to steal just one more glance as the two friends walked away, Senator and Jedi. What he saw reinforced his paranoia and piqued his curiosity simultaneously.

Bail observed Padme and Obi-Wan deep in conversation at the entrance to the Senators Landing Platform, unaware of their spectator. They were merely a foot away from each other. The Jedi leaned closer to Padme, adjusting his words and focus to her height. Instead of her uncomfortably backing away, to Bail's surprise, she leaned in as well. Then, the most startling of all, Kenobi reached for her hand, just slightly, and Padme granted his request by briefly skimming his knuckles with her fingertips. This was interesting indeed. Now, he realized, this was definitely _something_.

_ Padme, what have you gotten yourself into?_ Brow furrowed, Bail Organa released a worried sigh. He turned from the peculiar scene and estimated the amount of Alderaanian ale he had left in the conservator. Today had proved to be a most aggravating, albeit, revealing day.

"What is it Obi-Wan, what's happened? Are you alright?" Padme asked. Wanting very badly to touch him.

In a low voice. "Darling, can you accompany me for a short time?" Obi-Wan replied.

"Of course." Padme nodded.

Both entered an unassuming airspeeder Obi-Wan had taken from the Jedi Temple. He drove, never a carefree expression gracing his gravely handsome face. Padme wanted to take his stressed features in her hands and watch the atrocities, the many battles, the deaths he'd endured, melt away from his often stern expression and disperse through her fingers, leaving the man she'd known before the war had started. The man that wasn't plagued by nightmares, haunted by the lives he'd taken and the lives he'd failed to save. She kept her restraint until they were well away from the Senate building, melting into the flow of Coruscant's never-ending sky traffic. He looked so sad, he wasn't telling her something. His melancholy mood was making her wonder whether she should tell him her news or not. She moved in closer and rested her head on his shoulder and released a breath she felt like she'd been holding since the start of his last absence, two months ago. Something wasn't right. She sat up and looked into his turbulent blue eyes.

"Obi-Wan, what troubles you?"

He felt ill. This was going to be bad. Not only for Padme, but for himself also. She was his calm during the storm, a refuge for his soul. No more could she be those things. This was practically unthinkable for him. Did the council really expect him to do as they said when they had no practical knowledge of love and relationships? Of how much this would hurt, or even break him? Of course they did. He was expected to be an obedient Jedi, to bend to the will of the Force. But who's to say _this_ was the will of the Force? He trusted the Council implicitly, but was he to ignore the protests of every molecule, every atom that cried out through the Force declaring; _this is right, you are one. _

His conundrum was practically tearing him apart. Padme must have sensed his turmoil. She reached up and stroked the side of his beard, silently, patiently awaiting his response. He pulled the airspeeder from the normal lanes of traffic and locked it in hovermode, turning to face his soon-to-be ex.

"Padme, I need to discuss something with you."

"Not before I share something with you!"

Padme seemed excited, much to Obi-Wan's disappointment. He could tell she had good news, and he was about to spoil it. Despite his better judgment he, fearfully for the last time, wrapped his arms around her and buried his face into her abundant curls and closed his eyes, losing himself in her. Only wanting to remember this one perfect moment before. Before everything became broken. He suddenly felt two things in his reverie. A new spark within Padme, and a pressing darkness in the air. Where was this darkness coming from?

"Obi-Wan, something wonderful has happened," she said looking into his eyes.

All at once the air felt tight, restrictive, then. Boom. Successive bone jarring explosions rocked the air below them. Their airspeeder struggled to function in spite of the atmosphere's unrealistic demands. Obi-Wan protectively clung to Padme with one hand and gripped the controls with the other. What was happening? He accelerated, attempting to guide them to safety. The atmosphere crackled, more explosions. Another set ripped through the air. Displaced atoms and particles accelerated, demanding a path be forged. The airspeeder tilted on end and collided with another distressed vehicle. Obi-Wan and Padme were sent flying from their seats.

He sank everything that was him into the Force and tightened his grip on Padme as they fell. He slowed time and maneuvered their falling bodies around airspeeders and citybikes that struggled to remain airborne, their passengers either having been thrown from them or now lay dead in their vehicles. Falling at a frightening speed, objects blurred and meshed with the cityscape. Thick black smoke enveloped them. Obi-Wan's foot clipped an unseen object and he tumbled head over heels. Within seconds, he somehow managed to steady his descent and re-grip Padme's flailing hand. He looked at her, desperation creeping into his heart, knowing full well there was almost nothing more he could do. A Force controlled landing was one thing, but falling five-hundred plus stories was another beast entirely.

He decided he would focus all his energy on her descent, that's all that mattered to him now. Closing his eyes and seeing more clearly than he ever had before, he resigned himself to his fate. Concentrating, he sought out her golden presence amidst the darkness. There, slower. Gently now. He felt her realization of what he was doing, her stark protest. He'd have none of that. Sinking deeper, he let himself go and felt something new in her, something shared.

_ Oh Force_. He felt his throat tighten at the revelation. Then nothingness.

Padme groaned a string of incoherent words, then rolled onto her back. Consciousness flooded her thoughts harshly. There had been an explosion. She and Obi-Wan were in an airspeeder...he needed to tell her something. But before she told him...

_ Obi-Wan!_ She saw the look in his eyes as they were falling, the love, the acceptance of what was to come. She stood up and rubbed her stomach, it was sore, but she was sure she'd be alright. She stumbled through the acrid smoke of at least a hundred crashed vehicles. Where was she? Had she fallen to the surface? Surely not. She coughed and leaned forward. Noticing she was on a rooftop as she waved the smoke from her vision. She didn't feel right. Something was wrong. Missing.

"Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan!" She screamed, all Senatorial elegance abandoned. She didn't care who heard. Her mind was dizzy with the grim possibilities. The Coruscant wind blew and revealed the horde of bodies that accompanied her on the rooftop. She shuttered at the sight. Not a single soul stirred. Except herself. Desperately, she searched the roof. Praying she wouldn't find Obi-Wan. Because, she could feel it. Death was the proprietor of this space, and she alone was the exception.

A groan. Turning her neck in the direction of the sound so abruptly, she thought it might snap, Padme ran toward the familiar voice. And wished she hadn't. Obi-Wan lay broken on the rooftop, under the sun. An apathetic sun which continued to shine, unaware of the death and destruction that had taken place beneath it...was taking place. Choking on her own sobs, she knelt by him and lifted his head, resting it in her lap, for the last time maybe. He hissed, in pain. There was no need to worry about further injuring him from her movement of his body. She could clearly tell...

"Obi-Wan." She said in an unnecessarily loud voice, perhaps hoping to wake the dead. Every breath was a struggle it seemed as he fought to open his eyes. Every breath possessing a faint rattle at its draw. She frantically wiped the grit and blood from his face and smoothed his hair back, trying to impose a sense of normalcy to the situation. Her tears fell on his face and erased the streaked dark aftermath that acted as a veil.

Padme gently cradled his shoulders and head, then dared to look into his eyes. They were fixed on her and the most beautiful blue she'd ever seen them.

"I love you, hold on. I hear sirens, they're coming for us." Her voice projected as a shaky whisper.

Obi-Wan didn't respond. She continued looking into his eyes and noticed the sizes of his pupils did not match. A sickening tell-tale.

"Oh no. No." She wailed. Her lip uncontrollably contorted itself, betraying her pain, and signifying the grief that would now be a permanent fixture in her heart. She felt the blood rush to her face as she wept. Surprisingly, Obi-Wan touched her cheek, and faintly smiled. Then, Padme saw recognition in his eyes no more. His arm fell limp at his side and he inhaled thirstily.

He never exhaled. She rested her forehead against his and continued to cry out for the father of her unborn child. She felt a familiar warmth against one side of her face. She leaned into it.

Obi-Wan Kenobi stood, now one with the Force, free of pain. He watched over Padme, whom was holding the person that once was himself. He wished he could tell her everything would be fine, tell her it wasn't as bad as it seemed. Tell her, he now knew what she needed to tell him, wished he could tell her how happy it made him. She was so distraught. He did still love her so. He touched her face and whispered into her unhearing ears. "I will always be there for you both, I will always love you, I will always wait for you."

END.


End file.
